‘Not Religious But Spiritual’ Lexicon – First Edition

by Spiritual Hangover

Learn what someone is really saying when they drop spiritual jargon bombs! A handy guide to take with you to your next yoga class or spiritual retreat.

Says: “I am flowing in creative abundance!”
Means: “I hate deadlines!”

Says: “I am calling in my beloved.”
Means: “Relationships have been a total shit show for me.”

Says: “I am setting a powerful intention to manifest my vision…”
Means: “I don’t give a fuck about what anyone else thinks or wants…”

Says: “I’m taking a weekend to get centered and grounded.”
Means: “I have no interest in sharing weekend plans with you.”

Says: “Hey girl, are you OK? My intuition says something is going on.”
Means: “I know more about you than you do. And I have zero personal boundaries.”

Says: “Wow. I went REALLY deep in that class!”
Means: “I’m more spiritual than you.”

Says: “Mmmm… I can feel my 4th chakra opening and flowing.”
Means: “It’s important that you know how evolved I am. And that I’m more spiritual than you.”

Says: “Did you read today’s message from Abraham Hicks?”
Means: “I’m a mail courier for spiritual fluff nuggets!”

Says: “I’ve been doing the work for awhile now…”
Means: “I’ve spent a shit ton of money trying to fundamentally change who I am, and I still get my panties in a pinch when someone doesn’t use a coaster on wood surfaces.”

Says: “My intuitive healer told me the block was in my 2nd chakra.”
Means: “Western medicine just doesn’t get my uterus, OK?”

Says: “Namaste.”
Means: “I feel a little awkward saying this, but ya know, it lets people know I’m spiritual but not in a Christian way.”

Says: “I’m about to start a cleanse!”
Means: “I’m going to be a total raving bitch for two weeks.”

Says: “That last series of poses really opened me up.”
Means: “I have no idea how to pronounce any of this shit.”

Expand this guide! Help others! Reply below and add your own translations.

Advertisements