I think I’m nailing this manifesting and vibration sh*t.

by Spiritual Hangover


Mother Goddess Father Spirit All Beings Of Light And Love and Higher Consciousness!

I write this so that it may be known by all Higher Beings and Powers that I have set a powerful intention! After going REALLY DEEP at this past weekends “MAN-ifest Destiny: Your Man. Your Terms!” workshop at the Yoga Fire Fusion Transformation Healing Center and Wellness Studio, I feel very passionate and confident that it is time… 



It is time for my sacred masculine to RISE in non-sexual spiritual ways within me! Let me birth the Sacred Him OUT through my metaphysical lady parts and let him stand before me in the shape of partner… lover… equal… MAN.

Oh, Great and Wonderful Guiding Beings Of Christ Consciousness (without the Christianity)… I pray to you to send me MY DIVINE MAN-MATE. Deliver to me my Twin Flame!

re: Twin Flame – Only if we’re done with the chaos, destruction and killing each other stuff and have had a few lifetimes apart to think things over and  get our acts together. Also, only if he’s finally ready to settle down and have enlightened spiritual babies who score above average in everything, including looks. If he’s not there yet, I’ll take someone equally matched to me but without the drama.

I call upon the Gods Of Yoga to deliver my Sacred Masculine to me because I’ve been taking classes for a very LONG time!

And I call upon All The Archangels and Channeled Beings (that tend to flow through middle aged suburban women) to send me their Light!  My vibration is READY! (Non-alien energies only.)

I lift up my heart in this creation process and with deepest gratitude and appreciation I CALL IN MY MASCULINE!

Please bring to me as follows:

  1. Must earn 250K/year all in with stock options, bonus plan and benefits at Fortune 500 or A-list VC funded Start Up. Must achieve bonuses as scheduled.
  2. MBA in Business Magna Cum Laude from Ivy League school. (Graduates from Cornell will be considered on a case-by-case basis.)
  3. Maintain 9-11% body fat year round, with a +2% body fat rider allowed up to 3 weeks post-Holidays (January 2nd- January 22nd each calendar year). Diet and exercise plan for dealing with excess 2% body fat to be submitted for approval no later than December 26th to allow for 7 days of suggestions and revisions before implementation.
  4. Must own and have sizable equity in 1500 sq. ft.+ loft/condo with min. 14′ floor to ceiling windows in urban neighborhood that has quirky charm and/or food truck culture. Open to redecorating and able to provide budget of $18K to begin phase 1 of redecoration process.
  5. Drives Sports Edition vehicle no lower than an Audi with superior safety ratings. Car model not to be older than 2011. Clean driving record. No speeding tickets.
  6. Minimum 2 year yoga practice with total hip flexor rotation of at least 150 degrees (75 degrees each hip socket with +/- 2 degrees variable). Forward bend that allows forehead to touch kneecaps/shins. (If practice is between 18 and 23 months, a 6-week probation will be put into place to qualify if there is an aptitude and/or desire to improve.)
  7. No previous long term relationships to exceed 3 years.
  8. No contact with previous relationships and/or their family members or friends.
  9. No previous marriages. No children from other partners.
  10. Must desire to have, and be able to fulfill production requirements for children (2 child minimum, or until a girl is born).
  11.  Innate understanding of children ages 0-12 including instant ability to connect on very deep level with my niece and nephew and at least one other member of my family, preferably my Father.
  12. Consumption of 1 alcoholic beverage (e.g. 9+ year old French Bordeaux) to occur on following dates and only during family functions: July 4th, Thanksgiving Dinner, Christmas Day, our Wedding Day/Anniversary.
  13. Any additional requests for alcohol consumption will require pre-approval. Process not to exceed 3 days.
  14. Possess knowledge of cleansing techniques and actively follow a major cleanse twice a year.
  15. Ability to write sonnets and/or other form of romantic poetry above 12th grade level.
  16. Avid reader of books and watcher of documentaries about any of these topics: Self improvement, The Global economy, sustainable/organic foods and responsible farming, curing cancer/illness with alternative medicines, Global Warming/Climate Change, Africa, yoga philosophy, metaphysical truths that are hidden by Big Government, etc. Ability to recall, quote and cite these sources in debate during social functions to elegantly win arguments.
  17. Does not like or choose to engage in watching movies with excessive action (suspense, revenge, rage, etc.), violence (brutality, gore, Quentin Tarantino, etc.), or women who are unrealistic representations of the Divine Feminine (Megan Fox, Jessica Biel, Beyonce, Katy Perry’s boobs, etc.).
  18. Ability to solve the Wednesday NY Times Crossword in pen.
  19. Must speak minimum 2 languages and be in process learning a 3rd (Asian or Arabic).
  20. Length of body must correlate to 5’7″ feminine form for maximum comfort and security during cuddling.
  21. No facial hair. Must manscape.
  22. Basic understanding of Tantric principles with desire to expand practice into orgasmic meditation.
  23. Prefers deep long intercourse face-to-face with eyes open and holds off on orgasming until both parties reach climax together. Not offended and/or threatened if feminine is not able to climax through penetration alone. Ability to provide additional stimulation support as needed.
  24. Only occasional desire for oral sex. Each instance of oral sex is to be recognized as a major energetic ‘offering’ by feminine and will be acknowledged as such with a deeply expressed ‘Thank you’ and sacred foot rub.
  25. If all items listed in sections 1-24 are to be found embodied in a feminine body (“female”), female shall not be overtly masculine. Female will wear lipstick, mascara, etc. Must also look chic wearing eyewear (e.g. Warby Parker – Crosby frames in Revolver Black).

I am willing and open for this partner to come into my life! I am ready for him to be exactly who he is and love him unconditionally! I call him in so we may begin to share our life together!

I send this upward to the skies and await the blessing of Sacred Masculine to rain down on me!

Divine Arrival/Meeting Time Frame: 2 – 6 weeks, not to exceed 8 weeks.